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December 5, 2012
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The weeping West,
broad in the late-given hours
of ozone and cinnabar
shaded lips, sighs
deeply into context. Sleep
is lonesome in the fast, empty bed
and the ultramarine of irises
washes out with the ferruginous tides.

In pace with the thick-tongued wind
the Pacific pushes the boundary,
shaking limbs and branches.

We are deciduous creatures
building to a colorless apex
quickly, but I'm sure
that the seeds fall far
from our reach.

And the ground will sow us together
in time.
Quiet in the aural pause,
shedding leaves and losing color
to the land and sea.

I write to keep my eyes
blue, and my bones full
of strength and purpose.


I noticed the other day that my eyes seem to have lost some of their color. That led to this in a roundabout way.
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:icontoxic-nebulae:
toxic-nebulae Oct 23, 2013  Student Writer
"and the ultramarine of irises
washes out with the ferruginous tides" is pretty clunky, and I don't know if this is just me but I see "irises" used a lot.
"shaking limbs and branches" is also pretty common. it's boring, especially compared to the beautiful imagery in the rest of the poem.
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:iconnawkaman:
clunky wording or line break? the line break probably should read "and the ultramarine of irises washes out/ with the ferruginous tides." Irises is bordering on an overused word, but I'm not sure how to get around it here.

I agree completely about shaking limbs and branches. I will work on replacing it.

Thank you, dear friend!
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:iconmonstroooo:
monstroooo Feb 4, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Congratulations! :boogie: You've been featured in our Weekly Round-up :party:

Thanks for sharing your work with the group :love:

:iconwritersink:
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:iconnawkaman:
Thank you so much for the feature! I am honored :)
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:iconmonstroooo:
monstroooo Feb 4, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
You're welcome! I just hope I managed to type the title correctly in the write up :blush:
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:iconnawkaman:
Haha, yeah, I triple checked it when I uploaded. I seem to remember it not recognizing it in the standard spell check, so I had to check it myself.
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:iconschongslipper:
schongslipper Feb 3, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
You paint a beautiful mage and a truthful message with this poem. Well done.
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:iconschongslipper:
schongslipper Feb 3, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Yep =]
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:iconwanderingerato:
WanderingErato Dec 9, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Your endings are always so fantastic. They strike at some string in my brain and leave me humming. Wondering words, as always.
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